Angel Babies

Angel Babies is a site dedicated to second and third trimester loss. It was started by a woman whose 5-week premature baby lived 3 hours.

There is a brochure for parents; as I read through it I was impressed by all of the things I wouldn't have thought of. The brochure talks about options and things to consider for a birth plan, ways to commemorate the baby's brief life, handling the baby's remains, even how to involve siblings.

There is also a section devoted to what family and friends can do to help. One theme running through the comments is how important it is to acknowledge the loss. There were several comments like this one that just made my heart ache for the grieving mother:

*I hated feeling like I had the plague when I finally had the guts to go back to church a month after I had her because no one would look at me. Saying that they are "sorry" is better than saying nothing at all.

There were also some reminders that cards and emails are wonderful because the person can open them when they are ready and can look back on them when they are feeling down. I loved the way this woman put it:

*It would have been nice if people had emailed me instead of calling. That way I could have read or responded to emails in my own time instead of having someone on the phone that I may or may not be up to talking to.

Another thing I found eye opening was the comments about remembering the grieving father:

*A lot of my husband's coworkers donated some of their own time off to him so he didn't have to take his own. He had a total of a week's worth of time off donated to him.

*One thing my husband has talked about on more than one occasion was that he wished people remembered to ask about him and how he was doing. He lost a daughter too, it wasn't just me.

This web site is a wonderful resource!

In Pursuit of Parenthood

My heart goes out to those that want to be parents but, for whatever reason, haven't been able to have children yet.

I really ache for those I know that struggle with this, but I don't always know what to say. Okay, I usually don't know what to say. So sometimes I say the wrong thing. In fact, I could list plenty of times I've said the wrong thing, starting with the time I was 13 and asked a woman at church that I didn't know very well if she was going to have any children and she burst into tears.

So when I came across the rules for talking to those struggling with infertility on In Pursuit of Parenthood, I thought, "I need to bookmark these!"

Sympathy Card

Here's a simple sympathy card.
The verse on the front says,

"Each new life--
No matter how fragile or how brief--
Forever changes the world."

I am not sure who the author is, but I love the sentiment.

Here is how to make the card:

1. Download the card template as a Word document or .pdf file. Each sheet contains four of the front of the card. Cut them out. You will only need one, so save the other three.

2. Cut a piece of cardstock 5.5 inches by 8.5 inches. Fold the card in half so you end up with a card that is 4.25 inches by 5.5 inches.

3. Glue one of the card fronts to the front of the cardstock card.

4. If you used a dark piece of cardstock like I did, you might want to cut a plain white piece of cardstock and glue it to the inside of the card so you have a place to write.

Better Late than Never?

I found a package in my doorstep a couple of weeks ago marked "Not at this address."

This particular package was going to an out-of-town relative whose dear baby died at birth. I sent an email off to another relative to get the correct address, but didn't hear back until we had left on vacation.

So... now we are back from vacation and my dilemma is: Do I still send the package?

The funeral occurred clear back on Memorial Day weekend. I took a long time thinking about what I wanted to do - see why I need this site?! Then I took an even longer time to get to the post office. I mailed it July 8. Already over a month late.

Then the post office took a month to figure out I had an old address.

Then we went on vacation for 2 weeks.

So, what do you think? Should I mail it? Is this a case where the adage "better late than never" holds true?

What do you think is in the box?

Names in the Sand

Names in the Sand is the work of a woman in Perth, Australia. She memorializes children that have died by writing their names in the sand and taking a picture. This is a picture of her first name, the name of her son that died at birth.